October is a month dedicated to raising awareness about pregnancy and infant loss and honoring the countless families who have faced unimaginable heartache. On October 15th, many participate in the Worldwide Wave of Light to remember and support one another. If you are a part of this group, please know our hearts go out to you; it is truly a heartache that no one should have to bear.
In this space, feel free to share your child's name or a memory that holds a special place in your heart in the comments below. We hope that, by sharing, you find a sense of community and support, honoring your journey with love and respect.
I don’t need to tell you about the unique pain that comes with grieving the loss of a pregnancy or child. Your experiences have likely already schooled you in this, and for those who haven’t, I know that your infertility journeys have brought similar feelings of loss—the loss of potential, the loss of plans and dreams coming to life for what our families will look like, the loss of hope. It can be challenging to share our experiences while maintaining boundaries around what we're ready and willing to disclose. These conversations can often ‘open the floodgates’ and leave us feeling emotionally wrecked by the end. Here are a few thoughts on ways to maintain your boundaries while still sharing your story and honoring your loss—
Tell your story out loud, alone.
It might feel unusual at first, but speaking these difficult updates to yourself can help you prepare for sharing them with others. By verbalizing your thoughts privately, you can ease some of the emotional weight each time you recount your story.
Start with those that have already shown empathy for your journey.
Establish a trusted circle by confiding in individuals who have demonstrated understanding and compassion. These supportive listeners can provide the safety and comfort needed when sharing deeply personal experiences.
Prepare multiple replies to help enforce your boundaries.
When discussing sensitive topics, having multiple responses ready can help ensure you maintain your boundaries with confidence, even when someone presses for more information than you're comfortable sharing. Here are some examples:
We’re not sharing more details at this time.
Those decisions are for my partner and I to make alone.
We will update you when we have more to share.
I appreciate your concern, but we do not need any advice on the matter.
In navigating this journey, please remember that you are not alone. Every story shared, every boundary set, contributes to a tapestry of understanding and compassion. As part of this collective journey, the Worldwide Wave of Light on October 15th stands as a tradition of solidarity and remembrance. This movement brings people together, providing a space to honor the cherished memories of the children lost too soon. Your personal wave of light, through balancing sharing and protecting your heart, adds a unique voice to this global remembrance.
Though we can't fully grasp the depth of your loss, our support is here for you. Come connect with one of our specialized therapists who understand the journey through infertility. We also offer a therapist-led, free virtual support group where you can connect with others in a safe, compassionate space.
Your healing matters to us, and we're committed to standing by you every step of the way.
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